'Twas the evening of Tuesday, and up in the tub
Shelf Elf was indulging in a scrub a dub dub
When Plum Pudding arrived and took of her clothes
And helped Shelf Elf bathe from her head to her toes...

Then gleefully out of the hot tub they pranced
To the cold bathroom floor where she unzipped her pants
When the foreplay began, on Elf's face Plum sat
Shelf Elf never removing her holiday hat

Boundaries were broken and salads were tossed
If Santa could see her, all trust would be lost
If Lovin Plum was wrong, she didn't want to be right
So with reckless abandon, they scissored all night.